Things E fears most: Canada and whales.
It’s sandwich day. Every Thursday I bring Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich. But today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him, and she said a tuna sandwich! I can’t give Pudge tuna! [whispers] Do you know what tuna is? [yells] It’s FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I’d be an abomination. I’m late because I had to go to the store, to get some peanut butter, ‘cause all we have is stinking tuna!
- Pap Smears: Can’t afford a cervical cancer screening? Planned Parenthood has your back.
- Pregnancy Testing and Services: The organization helps women who are pregnant or are thinking about becoming pregnant get prenatal care.
The reason why Noah booted the Unicorns off the Ark? They were a bunch of hippie acid fiends that kept trying to touch everybodies aura. It was freaking the chimpanzees out.